so today has started like any other i wake upget ready freeze my ass off in my car as i drive to get joe who still needs to pay me or i am done picking him up and of course when i ask for money he goes il pay you in orgasims as a joke and im like its not a joke when i use so much extra gas to get him every day ...... then i got to school and started to feel sick AGAIN im a little worried i lost 12 pounds in the last 3 months which is good but im sure the break up helped out with that one. i mean all the stress that comes along with it you either dont eat or eat very little. im getting so sick of walking down the hall an hearing im pregnant i think i would know if i was and seeing as its been foreber since i had sex there is no way i am and its like really people i have LOSt weight not gained it and then there is the mutters of omg look at her she is so ugly i cant imagine her getting a guy then the opposite of she is such a slut and i just wanna go home and curl up i have such a stomach ache its not even funny and i just wish i could cuddle up with my blankey and Drake and watch a movie but no i have kids club and work! well im just gonna go there is nothing else i wish to reveal in here
all my love
xoxoxo
alyssa caroline
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
.jpg)
Blog Archive
About Me
- Little Miss Diabetic
- My name is Alyssa I am 18 and a senior at CPHS. Im Diabetic and Celiac stick that in your juice box and suck it.Im going to St.Cloud State for elementry education, I want to be a 2nd grade teacher. I have a tattoo I love it, I dont care if you dont. I have very few good friends but thats okay, Im so over high school drama anyways. Im the deffinition of an up north girl, I love going mudding on my fourwheeler, and swimming in the lake. If given the chance i would live at my cabin, its my favorite place to be. Right now i work at Sylvan Learning Center in Maple Grove, MN its fun and the kids are great. I have my own car its a blue 1997 chevy lumina, its my baby. I also own a Yamaha Grizzly 660 fourwheeler, also blue. Im a shy quite kinda girl, get to know me though and im loud and outgoing.
Thoughts
Where do you go to get away?
My cabin. Yeah its amazing. Just a little two bed one bath. You have to walk outside to get downstairs. Which only has a laundry room and a workshop. Its right on the lake, pretty small but beautiful. I love it there. Takes away the thoughts and drama of the cities, I wish i lived there.
What is love?
My boyfriend told me to write about love when i asked him what i should write my 55 word story on. I couldnt make up a story in 55 words about what I think love is, so I put it in here. I think love really is giving someone that chance to hurt you and trusting that they wont. Its a warm safe feeling, its trust, knowing the imperfections and looking past them. Love is when you miss them, and they just left. Its when you wake up in the morning wishing they were there. Kisses that cause fireworks, hugs that warm your entire body on a cold day. Its when you look at them and everyone else dissapears. Love is something that is seen and show not just spoken. That sparkle in their eye, the beauty that you see when they are sick, or have just rolled out of bed. Love isnt simple, it isnt easy, it takes work, but if its real it will be worth it, because true love never dies.
If you were given the chance to meet anyone in the world who would it be and why?
I think I would wanna meet Rosa Parks, hey why not she changed the world and she was just one women. Taking a stand to move to the front of the bus was a big one, seeing as only whites could sit there. She had such an influence on how the world is today, one women one simple act, major reactions. Other than her I think it would be bomb to meet Elvis, his music is legendry and amazing so why not.
Chose A Poem You Like!
There's something about you
that I can't let go
you're something amazing
like chocolate flavored snow-
just the thought of you
makes me smile when im upset
gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling..
a feeling I can't reject-
at work or on the road
and even at school
there's only one thing I want
and that would be you-
you have my heart and soul
you make me feel complete
the love that we got
baby, no one else can beat-
in so little time
we've been through it all
everyone makes mistakes
from big to small-
over all the critizism
it's still me & you
no one will ever love you
the way i do
Word Vomit...October 4th
So today has been pretty much work work work. I got up at like 7 cuz Aaron spent the night, weird story, so my mom and dad left me home alone this weekend, crazy in itself, and Aaron came over after school, we wanted to go to a movie so we called up Howard, love him,and his girlfriend Brit, we went to see Eagle Eye at 9:30 its a two hour movie little did we know so i called my mom and she told me that she didnt want me driving alone on the hwy at night so he could spend the night, we didnt get to my house til late, so yeah and okay so i woke him up cuz he went to his cabin but he had to ride with his cousin so i had to drive him there, and than when i got home i ate doughnuts AMAZING lol and drank some juice, cuz pop is bad for you. So after i did that i went and cleaned my room crazier yet, i moved my bed so im not under my window which is freezing at night btw, cuz my room is in the basement and my window is right on the ground like i can sneek out it. it took forever than i had to seperate laundry and do laundry which is still going from 3 hours ago, oh and my paint peeled off my wall so i had to repaint. maybe i should have wrote a story on a day in the life of a paintbrush or normal day gone wrong. Oh well i finished my story as you can see.....i did change it so yeah deal...now there is nothing left to do but wait till i have clkean clothes to wear so i can go to OCB and pick up my check cash it and go birthday shopping for my mom. Have a goodone
My birthday weekend...
so this coming weekend is my birthday... and on thursday i get my tattoo, its the red ribbon for diabetes with strength written thru it, then i get my gifts from my parents, to bad i know what im getting. friday is my birthday, aaron comes down i get my gift from him, YAY, we are going to dinner me him and my mom, then a movie...just me and him. saturday is the gopher vs scsu yeah im going seats right next to the bench!!!and sunday im not sure probably sleep for the ffirst time all weekend.
Rememberance...
so today will be the 4 year annvierary of lexies death, its hard buti think we all look at this as a day to celabrate her life not morn her death. lexie was on of the best friends i had, never once not smiling no one would have ever guessed she hated her life. we all miss her dearly, but we know she is looking down on us watching out for us on the days that just seem to be going wrong. the strength written tho my rinbbon is not only for the amount of stregth needed to both be and live with a diabetic, but for all of the strength lexie showed us each and everday and the strength that she lost that day 4 years ago...October 22 a day a girl a life never forgotten.
Unspoken words...
so not only was yesterday totally suckish i got dumped by the one guy who meant the word to me and when he promised forever i believed him. its a hard relationship to explain. offically we dated for 2 months well just shy, unoffically around 2 years i dont think i could have found some one more amazing he has been my bet friend for 7 years now and i have been afraid of loing that and thats why we never made it offical until now. he swore to me that it ws real that he loved me well i guess not it was just a bunch of lies nd decite. i have spent over 7 hours crying due to him and i dont think i ahve anymore tears in me left to cry...i still love him probably always will. i just wish maybe i would have told him more then i did at the end or that i would have said no but the past is the past and we gotta live for now... the people in your past didnt make it to your future for a reason...im stil l pondering that one in this case, but for now i have my friends who love me and let me know that no matter what i am beautiful and that sometimes something good falls apart so that something beter can fall together... i dont know what i would do without heather and johnny who came over to see how i was, FARGO who know matter what happens she is always there and can make me smile even though we are miles apart, amy who doesnt have to say a word just smile at me and my day seems to brighten a little more, sarah we may fight but she has some strong words in the head of hers hey really help, taylor who know matter what i do to him he still loves me even though i may never love him the same in return, and last but not least howard where would i be without him he knows just what to say without sugar coating it. I LOVE YOU ALL today may suck but i know that the memories lost with him and the ones gained with y0u guys...always by your side, always in my heart. 10-24-08
My Best Friend...
so pretty much me and aaron are friends it was one of those either say goodbye to my best friend(which i dont know how to do) or suck it up and deal. we have been best friends since we were 10 and i dont want that to change. i wanna go back to when the biggest problem u had was who sttole your cookie at lunch when to each other u were beautiful like in the fairytales when the words i love you didnt mean more then your my bestfriend and when to us love was giving up your juice box or your seat at lunch, back when broken hearts idnt exist and boys had cooties, i wanna go back to the times when we could be carefree not worry about a thing, when the selftest on our insulin pumps was the coolest thing ever and smunchies were used in food fights only to be caked into your hair hours later, when hide and seek wasnt played with hearts but in groups during monday night night games. who wouoldnt wanna go back i mean we always talk about growing up and gettign married and havng kids nad a job we wanna get there so fast , i dont i wanna deage im not afraid of the past cuz its happened and i have my best friend there the one who has seen me through broken hearts and tears who let me beat on him when i was made and then held me when i realized i wasnt that i just hurt, the one who gave me his juice box, im afraid of the future i dont know who will be there or who wont i dont know who i will marry and i dont wanna know....all i know is that right now im working on getting my best friend back... this turned into major word vomit
Halloween
so haha halloween was great....we rented 3 movies watch none of them i ended up taking care of heather. she ran after these kids in my scream mask and fell about 18 billion times and told me she hated me for making her drink water, she dropped my razor in the shower and hit her head ion the faucet. it was great me and johnny never stopped laughing, so yeah it was a you had to be there memory...lol yea halloween was fun
wow its been a while...
so its been like frever since i updated my thoughts section. so this weekend me heather and laura are heading up north right after school just us three it shouod be fun well my rents will be there but oh well. so im pretty sure life is going better its been less sad more happy i reconnected with lawny who is amazing i missed him oh and brad d but we tlk all the time we just enver hang out anymore. i looked at our class photo i miss all of you so much its like school is no longer fun we were so family like it was crazy. so my random thought changes are always fun eh wow now im from canada lol im sure that in the coming months we will all be to lazy to update this but i think its a fun thing to keep posting on, i really liked kronzers idea for warm ups it helps to write daily about things it has helped me become way less stress i have a journal just for that purpose now i love writing so much more now its an amazing thing i think all people should start doing it. i think i will keep this updated throughout college its would be fun you know just being able to write about freshman year and so on all the fun times well im end here ill start posting these as actual posts so that if u follow my blog u will be updated as of when i update...hugs kisses love for all
My cabin. Yeah its amazing. Just a little two bed one bath. You have to walk outside to get downstairs. Which only has a laundry room and a workshop. Its right on the lake, pretty small but beautiful. I love it there. Takes away the thoughts and drama of the cities, I wish i lived there.
What is love?
My boyfriend told me to write about love when i asked him what i should write my 55 word story on. I couldnt make up a story in 55 words about what I think love is, so I put it in here. I think love really is giving someone that chance to hurt you and trusting that they wont. Its a warm safe feeling, its trust, knowing the imperfections and looking past them. Love is when you miss them, and they just left. Its when you wake up in the morning wishing they were there. Kisses that cause fireworks, hugs that warm your entire body on a cold day. Its when you look at them and everyone else dissapears. Love is something that is seen and show not just spoken. That sparkle in their eye, the beauty that you see when they are sick, or have just rolled out of bed. Love isnt simple, it isnt easy, it takes work, but if its real it will be worth it, because true love never dies.
If you were given the chance to meet anyone in the world who would it be and why?
I think I would wanna meet Rosa Parks, hey why not she changed the world and she was just one women. Taking a stand to move to the front of the bus was a big one, seeing as only whites could sit there. She had such an influence on how the world is today, one women one simple act, major reactions. Other than her I think it would be bomb to meet Elvis, his music is legendry and amazing so why not.
Chose A Poem You Like!
There's something about you
that I can't let go
you're something amazing
like chocolate flavored snow-
just the thought of you
makes me smile when im upset
gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling..
a feeling I can't reject-
at work or on the road
and even at school
there's only one thing I want
and that would be you-
you have my heart and soul
you make me feel complete
the love that we got
baby, no one else can beat-
in so little time
we've been through it all
everyone makes mistakes
from big to small-
over all the critizism
it's still me & you
no one will ever love you
the way i do
Word Vomit...October 4th
So today has been pretty much work work work. I got up at like 7 cuz Aaron spent the night, weird story, so my mom and dad left me home alone this weekend, crazy in itself, and Aaron came over after school, we wanted to go to a movie so we called up Howard, love him,and his girlfriend Brit, we went to see Eagle Eye at 9:30 its a two hour movie little did we know so i called my mom and she told me that she didnt want me driving alone on the hwy at night so he could spend the night, we didnt get to my house til late, so yeah and okay so i woke him up cuz he went to his cabin but he had to ride with his cousin so i had to drive him there, and than when i got home i ate doughnuts AMAZING lol and drank some juice, cuz pop is bad for you. So after i did that i went and cleaned my room crazier yet, i moved my bed so im not under my window which is freezing at night btw, cuz my room is in the basement and my window is right on the ground like i can sneek out it. it took forever than i had to seperate laundry and do laundry which is still going from 3 hours ago, oh and my paint peeled off my wall so i had to repaint. maybe i should have wrote a story on a day in the life of a paintbrush or normal day gone wrong. Oh well i finished my story as you can see.....i did change it so yeah deal...now there is nothing left to do but wait till i have clkean clothes to wear so i can go to OCB and pick up my check cash it and go birthday shopping for my mom. Have a goodone
My birthday weekend...
so this coming weekend is my birthday... and on thursday i get my tattoo, its the red ribbon for diabetes with strength written thru it, then i get my gifts from my parents, to bad i know what im getting. friday is my birthday, aaron comes down i get my gift from him, YAY, we are going to dinner me him and my mom, then a movie...just me and him. saturday is the gopher vs scsu yeah im going seats right next to the bench!!!and sunday im not sure probably sleep for the ffirst time all weekend.
Rememberance...
so today will be the 4 year annvierary of lexies death, its hard buti think we all look at this as a day to celabrate her life not morn her death. lexie was on of the best friends i had, never once not smiling no one would have ever guessed she hated her life. we all miss her dearly, but we know she is looking down on us watching out for us on the days that just seem to be going wrong. the strength written tho my rinbbon is not only for the amount of stregth needed to both be and live with a diabetic, but for all of the strength lexie showed us each and everday and the strength that she lost that day 4 years ago...October 22 a day a girl a life never forgotten.
Unspoken words...
so not only was yesterday totally suckish i got dumped by the one guy who meant the word to me and when he promised forever i believed him. its a hard relationship to explain. offically we dated for 2 months well just shy, unoffically around 2 years i dont think i could have found some one more amazing he has been my bet friend for 7 years now and i have been afraid of loing that and thats why we never made it offical until now. he swore to me that it ws real that he loved me well i guess not it was just a bunch of lies nd decite. i have spent over 7 hours crying due to him and i dont think i ahve anymore tears in me left to cry...i still love him probably always will. i just wish maybe i would have told him more then i did at the end or that i would have said no but the past is the past and we gotta live for now... the people in your past didnt make it to your future for a reason...im stil l pondering that one in this case, but for now i have my friends who love me and let me know that no matter what i am beautiful and that sometimes something good falls apart so that something beter can fall together... i dont know what i would do without heather and johnny who came over to see how i was, FARGO who know matter what happens she is always there and can make me smile even though we are miles apart, amy who doesnt have to say a word just smile at me and my day seems to brighten a little more, sarah we may fight but she has some strong words in the head of hers hey really help, taylor who know matter what i do to him he still loves me even though i may never love him the same in return, and last but not least howard where would i be without him he knows just what to say without sugar coating it. I LOVE YOU ALL today may suck but i know that the memories lost with him and the ones gained with y0u guys...always by your side, always in my heart. 10-24-08
My Best Friend...
so pretty much me and aaron are friends it was one of those either say goodbye to my best friend(which i dont know how to do) or suck it up and deal. we have been best friends since we were 10 and i dont want that to change. i wanna go back to when the biggest problem u had was who sttole your cookie at lunch when to each other u were beautiful like in the fairytales when the words i love you didnt mean more then your my bestfriend and when to us love was giving up your juice box or your seat at lunch, back when broken hearts idnt exist and boys had cooties, i wanna go back to the times when we could be carefree not worry about a thing, when the selftest on our insulin pumps was the coolest thing ever and smunchies were used in food fights only to be caked into your hair hours later, when hide and seek wasnt played with hearts but in groups during monday night night games. who wouoldnt wanna go back i mean we always talk about growing up and gettign married and havng kids nad a job we wanna get there so fast , i dont i wanna deage im not afraid of the past cuz its happened and i have my best friend there the one who has seen me through broken hearts and tears who let me beat on him when i was made and then held me when i realized i wasnt that i just hurt, the one who gave me his juice box, im afraid of the future i dont know who will be there or who wont i dont know who i will marry and i dont wanna know....all i know is that right now im working on getting my best friend back... this turned into major word vomit
Halloween
so haha halloween was great....we rented 3 movies watch none of them i ended up taking care of heather. she ran after these kids in my scream mask and fell about 18 billion times and told me she hated me for making her drink water, she dropped my razor in the shower and hit her head ion the faucet. it was great me and johnny never stopped laughing, so yeah it was a you had to be there memory...lol yea halloween was fun
wow its been a while...
so its been like frever since i updated my thoughts section. so this weekend me heather and laura are heading up north right after school just us three it shouod be fun well my rents will be there but oh well. so im pretty sure life is going better its been less sad more happy i reconnected with lawny who is amazing i missed him oh and brad d but we tlk all the time we just enver hang out anymore. i looked at our class photo i miss all of you so much its like school is no longer fun we were so family like it was crazy. so my random thought changes are always fun eh wow now im from canada lol im sure that in the coming months we will all be to lazy to update this but i think its a fun thing to keep posting on, i really liked kronzers idea for warm ups it helps to write daily about things it has helped me become way less stress i have a journal just for that purpose now i love writing so much more now its an amazing thing i think all people should start doing it. i think i will keep this updated throughout college its would be fun you know just being able to write about freshman year and so on all the fun times well im end here ill start posting these as actual posts so that if u follow my blog u will be updated as of when i update...hugs kisses love for all
We dont stop playing because we grow up, we grow up because we stop playing.---Unknown
No comments:
Post a Comment