GRRRRness

so today has started like any other i wake upget ready freeze my ass off in my car as i drive to get joe who still needs to pay me or i am done picking him up and of course when i ask for money he goes il pay you in orgasims as a joke and im like its not a joke when i use so much extra gas to get him every day ...... then i got to school and started to feel sick AGAIN im a little worried i lost 12 pounds in the last 3 months which is good but im sure the break up helped out with that one. i mean all the stress that comes along with it you either dont eat or eat very little. im getting so sick of walking down the hall an hearing im pregnant i think i would know if i was and seeing as its been foreber since i had sex there is no way i am and its like really people i have LOSt weight not gained it and then there is the mutters of omg look at her she is so ugly i cant imagine her getting a guy then the opposite of she is such a slut and i just wanna go home and curl up i have such a stomach ache its not even funny and i just wish i could cuddle up with my blankey and Drake and watch a movie but no i have kids club and work! well im just gonna go there is nothing else i wish to reveal in here

all my love
xoxoxo
alyssa caroline

Drake

you look at me
and you smile
that big amazing
melt my heart smile
i cant look you
in the eyes anymore
it hurts to see that
you may really care
i try to look away
from you longing
stare, you wishful
hopeful grin i cant
its enticing capturing
me it swallows me
whole i cant no i
wont admit it but
i think i could no
i know i am 100%
head over heels over
the top in deep
sincere LIKE with..
You

what i love the most

remember when
we were little
you know around 4
or maybe even 5
and the whole world was in
the backyard on our swingset

remember when
love was a four letter word
that was used to let
your friend know
you'd give up your juice box

rememeber when
your biggest concern
was when you lost your
cookie and didnt know
who took it

rememeber when
needles where just things
used in the doctors office
once a year for that
nasty flu shot

rememeber when
televison was the only
place where broken
hearts were something
real

remember when
mom would make you
a PB&J sandwich just
so you can run and
play picnic

remember when
life was easy
and your skinned knee
was the worest pain you have
ever felt

remember when
watching the stars was
a nightly event during
those night games with
the neighborhood as one

remember when
best friends were always
there for you no matter
what because life was so
carefree

thats what i love the most
that we can all remember these
things because they are memories
and memories make life
worth living
without them we would be
empty
so live carefree like when we were
little around four or so
you only got one life
live it well

just one more minuts please

i go to bed each night
thinking its all okay
and wake up each morning
wishing it all away
just five more minutes is all i ask

pillow tucked in real close
as tears soak the soft case
the thoughts are blurring
as my mind beings to race
just four more minutes is all i ask

i sit there and be silent
though only for a tiny bit
my blood sugar runs low
as i grab my diabetic kit
just three more minutes is all i ask

i turn the tv louder
to drown away the sound
of the yelling and the screaming
for the pain that i have found
just two more minutes is all i ask

i close my eyes again
try to fall back to sleep
to dream somemore
of the one i couldnt keep
just one more minute....is all i ask
to stay asleep so deep

What I Needed To Say

you swore you loved me
you told me i was your everything
i told you i wouldnt sleep with you
all that flew out the door
the words got louder and meaner
your face got redder
i tried to yell louder for you to hear me
you grabbed my arm tight
i told you your hurting me
you only tighened your grip
as the tears formed in my eyes
you yelled at me to stop crying
that this was my fault
all i had to do was listen
and do what you asked
i got away from you strong grip
my arm already bruising
i yelled at you
that you were nothing to me
that your words couldnt save you this time
im done forgiving you
as i turned my back to walk away
you yelled to me that i was to never
in this lifetime to turn my back to you
i felt the sharp pain hit my back
i fell to my kneesyet another pain same spot
i was now face to face with the hardwood
as i rolled over your arm was cocked back
ready to give another blow
you got your face right up to mine
and in a heartbreaking voice
you told me noone would ever
again call me beautiful
before you hand got to me
i swung head on hit
as the blood dripped from your nose
i realized what i had done
and i knew if i stuck around
it would be my end
i got up fast as i could
ran for the door it opened
you werent far behind me
with your blood on my hand
and mine on my shirt
i ran faster then ever before
i gott outta there
this wasnt my fault
this is noones but your own
you hurt me one to many times
trying to fade you away into my memory
but this bruise it stays to remind me
of that night
of that time that i said no
and paid for it
this bruise it wont dissapear
but you my dear are already gone
so why couldnt I say
goodbye


Kronzer this was taken care of no worries :)

Final of Lexie Maria Degonda

Soft, light dew still covered the ground
as the wind blew the leaves higher into the morning sky
her room shone a light, pale yellow
as dull, faded pink drapes gently rippled in the window
door bell chimed that simple song
no answer...
gentle soothing tones chimed again
the heavy maple door made an eery creek
our whispers echoed off each sterile, white wall
each stair a new, almost deafening squeak
her door ajar enough to light the dim and dusty hallway
as it opens you see her:
colorless, faded, limp, and lifeless
in her hand, a white bottle,blue label
as tiny off-white,oval pills covered the hardwood floor

Lexie Maria Degonda

Soft light dew still covered the ground
as the wind blew the leaves higher into the sky
her room shone a light pale yellow
as dull faded pink drapes gently rippled
door bell chimed that simple song
no answer...
gentle soothing tones chimed again
the heavy maple door made an eery creek
our whispers echoed off each sterile white wall
each stair a new almost deafining squeek
her door ajar enough to light the dim dusty hall
as it opens you see her
pale limp lifeless
a white bottle, blue lable lay in her hand
as tiny off-white oval pills covered the hardwood

Poems

My Most Succesful Mistake
by Fullmetal
Loving you is not the best thing, I have that clear
There are other things that I can do which bring no fear
Like writing, reading, sleeping, and running
Or just simply doing nothing

Loving you is not the best thing, but I like it
Even though it makes me the greatest masochist
It would be so much better if I distract myself with sports
The internet, the TV, or other things of the sort

Loving you is not the best thing, but it's perfect for me
For it gives me a reason to carry on with this monotony
Of doing the same thing winter, spring, summer, and fall
Of dealing with the same crap from sunrise to nightfall

Loving you makes me suffer, boy am I lucky this is real
For it's a reminder that I exist and that I feel
For it gives me something to think about every night
For even though I know it will lead me nowhere it feels right

Loving you is the poison that lengthens mortality
It is the fantasy mixed with reality
It is the killer drug that makes me feel alive
It is the same boring routine improvised

Loving you is by far the saddest comedyI
t is the best of the worst that has happened to me
It is the admiration mixed in with pity
It's what I feel and what most call complex stupidity

Loving you is the most illogical logic
It is the medicine that makes me sick
It is the one emotion that is shared by all
But that most of the time makes no sense at all

Loving you is the most perfect imperfection
The problem which I'm glad has no solution
And even though it is the pain that makes my heart ache
Loving you has been my most successful mistake




Please dont tell me not to cry
You dont know what i am feeling
or how much i hurt P
lease don't say there was a reason why
there are tears stains on this shirt

you think i should go on today
forget about it and be strong
i dont expect you to understand what to say
but deep down inside i dont want to go along

for no apparent reason i break down and cry
my life has changed forever you see
so dont act like its okay dont even try
for this is why i am not acting like the same ole me

because it changed my life forever
i will never be the same again
not today not tomorrow not ever
can you wear the friendship pin?

my broken heart is hurting
just like always my friend
its leaving it is leerking
and it will never mend

kinda unsure if i like it

Longer short story start

"OUCH!," yelled Sarah as a football hit her dead on in the head.

Sarah is seventeen, her birthday coming up in just weeks, she has long dark brown wavy hair, tan skin, and long eyelashes. Her eyes are stunning, green with a drak blue outline, no make-up needed here. Cheerleading was her favorite pass time other than hanging out with her many friends. For you see Sarah was one of the "populars" in her school, everyone new her name, she was Sarah Nicole McKie. She had everything she could ever ask for in life, and everything was going great, that is until today.

For the last week or so her friends decided that she was not "cool" enough to be in their group anymore and started to ingore her. They wouldnt talk to her, they wouldnt let her sit with them at lunch, they even started rumors about her. Sarah heard one rumor that sent her over the edge, for now, thanks to Jessica, the whole school believe that Sarah was...pregnant. She wasnt, in fact it was Jessica who was. Hearing this the football players started mocking her, the nerds commented on her weight, the other cheerleaders would whisper under their breath during practice. It was getting old and she knew she would have to stop it some how. Thinking of ways of how to prove she was indeed not pregnant was not easy, who would believe her now? It was cheer practice on Friday afternoon she was a flyer today, as she got ready to start the lift she got side tracked by Kevin Bromburg, the eleged father of her baby. This is when she gets nailed with the football, thrown by Kevins best friend. As she snapped back into reality, she found that the whole squad had just left her to come back to and continued with practice.

"How can they finish practice i'm the head captian, they cant do that," she vented to the man cleaning the bleachers. He sat down next to her, didnt say a word. Somehow in the ten minutes that they sat there without speaking Sarah stood up feeling as though it was the best conversation she has ever had. The next day in school Sarah confronted Kevin. He too had heard the rumors, though they never really were friends Sarah trusted him. He told her that he had tried to stop it from spreading to put an end to it, but that in a small town news like that travels fast. She looked him in the eyes and saw the depths of his words, the ones he wrote in poetry class that she had always thought were taken from the internet. Kevin wrote down his number and handed it to her told her to call him sometime so they can figure out this whole mess.

Weeks pasted and Sarah and Kevin got closer, they talked everyday, not just about how to stop the rumor, about everything. Jessica, who has always had a thing for Kevin, was not happy. Her whole plan was failing, Kevin was supposed to believe the rumor that Sarah was pregnant, he was not supposed to be the accused daddy, and in the end he was supposed to come to Jessica and tell her that he has always loved her. Now he was falling for Sarah, this sent Jessica into a fit of anger. Trying to make things better she started talking to Sarah again, thinking that if she could befriend her she could get closer to Kevin. Sarah told her she would only even consider being friends again if Jessica publicly anounced that she started the rumor and that it was just that, a rumor. Jessica agreed on one condition, that Sarah stop hanging out with Kevin, that he was to be hers not Sarahs.

With a puzzled look Sarah said silently,"Jessica you cant make anyone yours people are not items to be labled, i have learned this. I may have alot of friends that does not make me "popular", i have a title of head cheerleader but that does not make me "cool" we are all cheerleaders, even those who are in the stands. I am just me Sarah Nicole McKie, and I will not stop talking to anyone just because you say to. if that is the case we wont be friends, i wont be sorry, its your loss, your the one lying to yourself."

Jessica shocked and in awe looked into Sarah's eyes. For the first time she got what understood what was meant by this, in an ashamed tone Jessica turned to Sarah and said," Im sorry, I know i shouldnt have, and i get it now. What you mean by lying to myself, Sarah can i tell you something, soemthing noone else knows?"

"Yes, you know im here for you i always have been, what is it?" Sarah seeing the seriousness in her eyes.

" i started the rumor about you to get the focus off of me, Sarah...Im pregnant. I dont know who the father is, im scared, i cant tell my parents, its been 3 months. Its going to start showing. What do i do?"

"OMG Jess i had no idea, we will figure this out. I promise. Me and you and Kevin, we can all talk about this, i think i know who the father is. Me and him had a talk last night and i know the whole story its okay."

Sarah, Jessica, and Kevin worked things out. Jessica told her parents, and they were understanding, Kevin and Sarah are still dating its been 5 years now, he is around for his child. Joseph Kevin-Alexander, after the father and the grandfather. Jessica and Sarah are closer than every before, all because of some rumor back in high school. Jessica got married to Kevins best friend Jay, they couldnt be happier. Kevin planned to prepose on their 6 year anniversay, Sarah is 4 months pregnant, for real this time.

55 word story

Timmy asked his mother,"mom what is love?" She paused a second and soon replied," love is a safe warm feeling, its trusting that person to always be there, and knowing that they care even when the world doesnt." As Timmy hugged her he whipsered," I love you Mommy."

Ten Minute Play

Ten Minute Play

Scene: Abury and Alexander are in the living room of Abury’s house. There are two chairs set up on either side of the couch which is centered in the room. There are two lamps one is a floor lamp on the right side one is on the table on the left side of the couch. There is also a coffee table and a tv set. Abury and Alexander have been dating for almost two years now but have on and off since freshman year. Alexander is going to be heading off to college over a hour away and they topic of staying together and making it work comes up.

[alexander looks at abury who is sitting in the chair siltenly]
ALEXANDER
Abury you know I would stay if I could but...

ABURY
But what your leaving am I supposed to be happy? Am I supposed to smile like nothing is wrong that is doesn’t hurt?


ALEXANDER
[turns around to face the wall]
No I don’t expect you to, I know your upset but we can do this, it’s only 70 minutes away and ...and...

ABURY
[almost in tears moving to the couch]
And what Alexander finish your sentences PLEASE. Tell me I can just tell your waiting to say something. Tell me.

ALEXANDER
And I can just drive to see you right? Like every weekend! I get out of cshool at ahhh ummm I think 11 on Fridays...so I can meet you at your house. Okay?
[now sitting on couch]

ABURY
[crying harder as he puts his arm around her]
No you cant and you know that.
[coughs a little from crying]
We can’t do this its to hard my parents wontlet me come up there and you cant stay here. What are you going to do get a...

ALEXANDER
I’ll find somewhere to stay it’ll be okay.

ABURY
[standing up stopping the crying and is now angry]
NO! You don’t get it. Plus your in college, you can drink and party! Your dorm is co-ed all those girls up there....

ALEXANDER
[following her as she paces]
Have nothing on you. I know cheesy right? But its true, I don’t want anything to with them and you should know that.

ABURY
[pushing him down into the couch]
And what about when you party. Alcohol makes you do stuff it makes you do things you wouldn’t normally.
[turns her back and crosses her arms and softens her tone]
I cant even start to think about all the drunken phone calls and oh not to mention the lovely texts I will get.

ALEXANDER
[standing back up walking up to her]
I wont drink I swear Abury why cant you just trust me?
[phone rings and plays “ring of fire” he answers]
Hello?

GIRL ON LINE
[girls voice speaks in a sad tone]
Hey can we talk? Its kind of important. Something happened with me and Howard.

ALEXANDER
[in a rushed tone]
I cant talk right now. I’ll call you later okay I...

ABURY
[hangs up phone before Alexander can finish his sentence now yelling]
Who the heck was that? A girl! Your already cheating on me?
[tears up as the angry subsides]
I cant believe it.

ALEXANDER
[trying to hug her]
Abury just relax don’t cry it was Hannah, her and Howie are having trouble, she just wants to talk.

ABURY
[calming a little more]
Fine, I guess
[she slumps into the chair hugging her right leg into her chest as her left crosses under it]
I’m sorry its just so hard you know... I’m paranoid. I know I should trust you...we have been together forever.

ALEXANDER
[sitting on the couch as close as he can to the chair touching her leg gently]
2 years on Saturday, only four more days sweetie.

ABURY
[leaning forward]
I know and I cant wait but after that its only a week till your gone, til your over a hour away and I wont get movie or pizza and taco nights...

ALEXANDER
[with hand still on her leg]
We will though, just not as often and think they will be better because it well be something specail, it wont be a normal thing.

ABURY
Well when you put it like that it doesn’t sound so bad.
[frowning thinking more seriously]
Why does she have to call you all the time? Its annoying.

ALEXANDER
[confused sits back into the couch to think]
What?! You have got to be kidding me. She is just a friend, she is dating my best friend. Why is this just getting brought up now?

ABURY
[stands up and paces]
I never thought it was a big deal until now. I guess as long as she is a friend its okay. Can we please change the subject though I’m so over talking about Howard and Hannah’s problems.

ALEXANDER
[smiles in relief]
yes we can and thanks you
[abury turns to face him as he stands up next to her]
Hey Abury...

ABURY
[stops pacing seeing he is now more serious]
Yes Alexander?

ALEXANDER
[fiddling with something in his pocket]
So I know we have been fighting a lot lately about me leaving and all...
[getting more nervous]
And that your parents are really against you staying with and everything.

ABURY
[sees his hands shaking and that he is more nrevous than before]
Its not that they don’t want me to its that to them me staying there means their little girl is grown up and stuff ya know.

ALEXANDER
[grabbing her hand his voice gets soft]
Ler me finish please this is not easy for me I’ve thought about this over and over again before I knew it was just right.

ABURY
[taking back her hand and turning her back so her wouldnt see the tears coming, in a soft voice]
oh no, please Alexander we can do this I changed my mind I know we can we have to...
[in a voice just barely loud enough for him to hear]
because I cant do this on my own...

ALEXANDER
[obviously not paying attention to that last piece and is focused on the ceiling]
Abury hun please,please just listen let me finish just please..
[abury crys a little]
No don’t cry baby just listen to me.

ABURY
[though tears]
okay I’ll try

ALEXANDER
[taking her hand again]
I love you Abury I really do you are everything to me I have loved you since freshmen year...when I saw you at track practice, you were just a 8th grader...

ABURY
[turns to him]
I have something to tell you.

ALEXANDER
[getting slightly frusterated]
Abury please tell me after.
[back to looking at her]
Like I said I love you.
[Abury under her breath whispers “I love you too”]
And I would do anything for you and I hope you know that. Abury Christine Bounty
[getting on his knee pulling out the box]
will you...

ABURY
[interupting him]
I’m Pregnant

ALEXANDER
[jaw droppes and he whipsers the last few words]
marry me?...

[Abury cries as he takes her hand, curtain falls]